What Would You Change About Your Body?

Commercials. Magazines. Billboards. Social media. 

Throughout the day, we're exposed to thousands of images and messages. Maybe millions, if you work in a digital field like I do.

While we might not realize it at the time, those messages become ingrained in us, and often make us feel less-than. I love being inspired by others, but when's the last time you focused on how you felt more than how you looked?

This awesome video from Jubilee Project  needs to be seen. 

November is usually a month that is filled with gratitude. Maybe take a moment today and think of something about your body that you're thankful for.

I'll go first:  I'm grateful that my body still works. Processed food, crash diets, gallons of coffee instead of meals, alcohol-filled weekends, diet pills, and all-nighters have all been a part of my life, and yet my body still gets up in the morning and does whatever I need it to do.  I'm focusing on health more now than ever before, and being rewarded by seeing my body do things it never could.

 It's worthwhile to take care of yourself. It's important. And being grateful for where you are, right this second, doesn't hinder progress.

Although, like the little girl in the video, I would appreciate having a mermaid tail.

xx,

Rachel

Dating the Narcissist

Carrie and Mr. Big. Chuck and Blair. We are constantly presented with tales of the reformed bad boy.  There’s a reason for the popularity of these couples – sex sells with anyone, and a conversion plus sex especially sells with women. Nearly every girl I know would love a handsome, devastatingly charming boyfriend who adores her.  Everyone wants to be that girl. If you manage to put up with a guy’s bachelor ways, emotional baggage, and self-absorption while bringing out the best in him, you get the man of your dreams in the end. Unfortunately, most girls just end up wasting time and energy. Here are some signs you might be dating the narcissistic man:

• He is definitely the alpha male type. He is confident, charming, and good at initiating connection with just about anyone.

• He is always somewhat unavailable – emotionally, or otherwise. Narcissists typically abhor feeling emotionally influenced by anyone. A guy who doesn’t text/call you back in a reasonable time period (e.g., within 24 hours) either isn’t into you in the slightest, or truly thinks his time is more important than yours. 

•   He subtly makes you feel lesser in any way.

• There is great chemistry. Otherwise, you’d never put up with his antics.

•  He has a high need for control. While he might not try to dictate who you see, what you wear, or other typical red flags, this guy definitely hates being at the mercy of someone else’s preferences. Chronic lateness is a little indication of this trait.

•  He expects to be recognized as superior without having superior accomplishments.

• He lacks empathy. If he is unwilling to identify with the needs and feelings of others, he probably won’t be different when it comes to your needs and feelings.

Just one or two of these traits may be fine, but when they start piling up, you have a problem on your hands. So how do you know if you have a Mr. Big or just a heartache waiting to happen? You don’t. You can take the risk, keep dating this guy, and hope for the best – or you can try to change the type of guy you pick. It’s easier said than done. There’s scientific evidence that women are attracted to narcissistic personality traits.

For the love of God, please stop playing dating mind games with these men. Please stop playing games with men in general, actually, but especially narcissistic types. Attention and "the chase" are their oxygen.  Go on dating him if you must, but stop feeding his ego in search of some semblance of caring partner. You'll find more love at the bottom of a bottle of tequila - and that isn't much. Learn from the experience, and when you're ready, remember this advice:

xo,

Rachel

(P.S. This post will also appear on the blog of the popular Twitter account Single in my 20s. Stayed tuned!)

Defining Success

I've been giving a lot of thought lately to what it means to be successful. While I haven't settled on a concrete definition yet, I like to think I know it when I see it in others. During my job search, I've discovered a favorite question of potential employers - "What does success mean to you?" It's so easy to default to a trite (however valid) answer like "being happy" or "fulfilling my dreams," but what do those phrases actually mean?

 There are so many amazing articles floating around the internet about what it means to be successful, and how to get to that point yourself. One of my favorite resources is Levo League. This community is basically every twenty-something woman's dream! Whether you're still in college or have recently entered "grown-up" life, there are tons of articles, mentors, and advice to discover. Here are just some examples:

I recently came across this article, which highlights the habits of the rich vs. the poor. While I do not think money always equals success, it is a pretty interesting (one dimensional) list. Scroll down to the comments section to see how it got a lot of people pretty fired up.

As much as I would love to instantly discover steps A, B, and C to the life of my dreams, the exploration is half the fun.

Cheers,

Rachel

 



P.S. Check out my Pinterest board for more of the professional resources I love!